While in Tegel prison, Dietrich Bonhoeffer a German theologian, was waiting for his eventual death. He wrote a poem titled “Who Am I?”.
In this poem he asks if he is the strong, faithful and stalwart person he shows to his captures or is he the weak, doubtful and questioning person when he is alone? He dwells on this fact to decide if he is a person of strength one day and a person of weakness another day. Actually he, like us, is both.
Bonhoeffer is describing the ‘human condition’! Showing doubt in what we sometimes question what is true and at the same time act confident that we know it all.
Bonhoeffer was in a transition of life and death and he was aware of this. It’s like us too. We have many transitions in life, maybe not death and life transitions, but changes in our lives. We go though job change, family growth and change, retirement, decisions of where to move or live and many decisions on a daily basis. We all go through changes in life. Yes, some may include the transition of life and death. It is in these transitions that we struggle to know who we are.
Bonhoeffer, as a theologian, was aware of how he viewed God in his life. He writes in another place that Christ calls a person to come and die and be a part of Christ in one’s life. Jesus said that those who seek to save their lives will lose them, and those who lose their life for his sake will gain them. Christ is constantly asking us to come to a spiritual rather than a secular life. To go through our transitions with faith in the journey, even if it seems like we are not the same in all instances.
As Bonhoeffer decided, death is not the final statement, even if we seem strong, faithful and determined. We are all doubters of our life but we are strong with Christ who is the “I am”. Who am I? I am called by Christ to live a life of faith and courage, even if we seem to fail. We are called to come and lose our life in Christ and to be raised with Christ. This is the spiritual life of the ‘human’. Bonhoeffer did realize this and went willingly to his death knowing that his transitions in life will be part of Who He Is!
Janet Schwengber pastors UCC Congregational Church, Walton
